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Xmas N'at

by Sloover

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    "an abrasively effective earworm" - Washington City Paper
    "Beautiful. Almost like music. Not quite, but almost." - Mike Pintek, KDKA Radio Pittsburgh
    "Cute... cute." - Shelley Duffy, KDKA Rado Pitsburgh
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1.
Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls (repeat) We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree Let's hang our balls on the Christmas tree Let's hang our balls on the Christmas tree We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree Let's hang our balls on the Christmas tree It'll really be a fun Christmasy kinda thing like We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree We got red balls, green balls Hang 'em on the Christmas tree Pink balls, brown balls Hang 'em on the Christmas tree Look Dad, Mum got a present for you A pair of balls that are big and blue We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls (repeat) We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree Dad'll hang his balls on the Christmas tree I'll hang my balls on the Christmas tree Brother'll hang his balls on the Christmas tree Dad went out and cut down that tree And it looks nice when it's plain and green But it is prettier than anything I've seen When there's some balls on the Christmas tree Father Murphy is coming to our house He'll bring us some salvation He'll say a prayer, he'll bless the tree And he got a couple balls just for decoration Hang his balls on the Christmas tree Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls (repeat) We'll have a ball hanging balls on the Christmas tree have a ball hanging balls on the Christmas tree have a ball hanging balls on the Christmas tree have a ball hanging balls on the Christmas tree Don't break my balls, just put 'em on the tree Don't crush my balls just put 'em on the tree But you can squeeze my balls if you put 'em on that tree We'll hang our balls on the Christmas tree Dad just had his tenth eggnog His pants just fell down He tripped and fell, and took the tree with him And it all came tumbling down and he said "Ow! Them pine needles pinch... my balls on the Christmas tree" Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls Balls balls balls (repeat)
2.
Who's that staggering on the roof Eggnog spiked with 100 proof It's Christmas eve and I'm awake in my bunk 'Cause Santa Claus is drunk "ho ho ho where the hell's the chimey in this damn place? Hate this job!" I saw Santa at the mall I wanted to ask him for a new football I sat on his lap and he really stunk Santa Claus is drunk "Ho ho ho what do you want from me Timmy? Whatever, next!" He's got presents for the girls and boys I hope he doesn't drop his sack and break my toys And under the tree I'll find a pile of junk 'Cause Santa Claus was drunk "Goddamn bag's too heavy. Why don't one of you deer carry it?" Ho ho ho, who would of known? Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go Up on the housetop, sip sip sip Down with the whiskey is drunk St. Nick "Yeah real funny, you should be on TV, damn comedian, ho ho" Christmas Eve comes once a year But Santa can't lay off the beer "I could if I wanted to" He fell on the tree and he snapped the trunk Santa Claus is drunk "Ho ho ho. Milk and cookies? What the hell's this? Where's the damn bourbon in this house?" I saw Santa fly away With his eight reindeer and his Christmas sleigh He crashed into a lake and down the sleigh sunk Santa Claus is drunk "Jesus Christ that's my third DUI" Santa Claus is drunk! "And you would be too if you had my job"
3.
Hey it's skurbin gurbin Santa And skurbin manurbin reindeer And skurbin gurbin Christmas in Tralee And it's skip to me diddle o' stockings And Johnny McEldoo O' presents It's an Irish Christmas this year! I got bows in me sheleighly And skurbin gurbin bourbon And elves and leprechauns around the tree I got whiskey in me eggnog And skurbin manurbin yuletide It's an Irish Christmas this year! I gave Santa milk and cookies But he wanted Irish stout Fine stout! Oh and a one horse open skurbin And skip to me Jesus birthday It's an Irish Christmas this year! Aye we tora lora Rudolph And skurbin manurbin chestnuts And skip to me diddle o' jingle all the way And it's blarney on the yule log And skurbin mistletoe It's an Irish Christmas this year! I gave Santa milk and cookies But he wanted Irish stout Fine stout! Oh and a one horse open skurbin And skip to me Jesus birthday It's an Irish Christmas this year! It's an Irish Christmas this year! It's an Irish Christmas this year! Oh Skurbin Christmas every Skurbin!
4.
"Well hello everybody, welcome to open mic night at Jacob's Nightclub, the hottest spot in town. Ha ha. Thanks. First up tonight we have a man with a rather odd name. His name is Ebeneezer Scrooge. Is that right? Is that pronounced correctly? Ok, alright, give him a hand everybody. He's going to do a couple tunes for you." Hi thank you. Hi. I wrote this song about people. Here it goes. I hate people I hate people Sitting on their miserable asses looking at me with their glasses I hate people! They're so stupid they are dumb, I hate people I hate bums I hate people! I like to throw rocks at them, I really hate them, I really hate them They are ugly! I get drunk, I puke on their shoes, I hate people, I hate you I hate people! "You suck!" I hate that guy! Interrupting my great song, he probably doesn't have a dong I hate people! Always asking me for money, then I kick them and it's funny I like to kick them! Especially if they are babies I just hope they don't have rabies I hate people! I hate people! I hate people And I don't care if they hate me
5.
6.
Yinz know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cupid and Blitzen and Bob But do yinz recall the awesomest reindeer of all? Donnie the Yinzer Reindeer Lived up the North Pole One of his antlers was black And the other one was gold All of the other reindeer Like the Cowboys and Browns So Donnie left them losers And moved to his favorite town Now Donnie lived in Pittsburgh In the woods in Schenley Park Hung out at the O in the daytime Watched out for Cordell after dark He went to Steeler home games He liked to tailgate in the cold But he could not find a job Cause there were no sleds to pull Then one foggy Super Bowl eve Cowher came to say (and he spit on him) Donnie we're snowed in tonight Take us to the super bowl in a sleigh tonight Then all the Steeler s loved him He took them to victory And all of the other reindeer Were turned into reindeer meat
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about

I recorded Xmas N'at while living in a trailer park outside of Chapel Hill, NC in 2002 as Christmas was approaching. I was broke (if you couldn't already tell from the fact that I was living in a goddamn trailer), so I wanted to make something to give away as a gift to my family and friends. I got drunk, sat at my computer, and began recording songs. People liked it so much I did a 2nd volume the following year. These are the 10 best songs from both Xmas N'at volumes 1 and 2.

credits

released December 25, 2002

Sloover did everything on this album

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all rights reserved

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about

Sloover Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

I was born in Pittsburgh, PA. I started to play guitar at 10 years old. In the mid 90s I formed a surf band at Indiana University of PA called Captain Bigwheel. After college we moved to Chapel Hill NC in 2000 and morphed into Buzzsawyer. I recorded Xmas N'at in Nov-Dec 2002. Me and my friends Abe and Ethan started a band in spring 2022 called the Pooks. We practiced a lot. ... more

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